Rogue Trader: Just Here for the Explosions

Super happy whoreship hunting adventure

Through the mind of Lucius Ockmann

We caught one of the Wazzajingles. The others didn’t believe their true weakness, but once again I was right.

Wazzajingle looks sad. Probably wants to go home. Thinking of letting it go so it can be happy. Captain says we have to give it the guys in bleeding circle.

Captain made me talk to some cute girls. I was okay with this. they seemed nice, liked to talk about some rich guy who wanted to go hunting. That bit was boring. Tried to get their numbers, but they left instead. I think Pastey scared them off.

The circle god, Marcus I think his name was, was impressed by the Wazzajingle. Wanted us to get more. Flyman wanted to make a TV show with them. Seemed like a cool idea, but circle god didn’t seem enthused. Wanted to ship the Wazzajingle all over space. I suggested we could get one every 2 weeks, no problem. Captain wanted to get someone else to do it. Captain is boring.

There was talk about some red feathers. Crimson birds are boring, so I ignored them.

Crimson birds are a long way away, so I go shopping with Pastey. He’s good at shopping. Gives me a shield. cool present because I don’t like being stabbed or shot.

Captain said we’re going to visit the hunting man at a whoreship. Whoreships are to easy, but it could be fun.

I got 6 to myself. I was right, way to easy. But at least I don’t have to walk.

Something smells familiar. Pizza maybe?

It’s not Pizza. Disappointing.

Room is full of dead Orks. Dead Orks are good. Dead Orks in a whoreship are….. I’m not sure. Hunting man seems to be having fun. Sounds like a good hunter.

Drinking buddy doesn’t seem impressed. Thinks hunting man is lying. I think he seems alright. He tells Scary Robot Man to kill him sarcastically. Scary Robot Man is not good at sarcasm, but waits for later.

I think we’re going hunting! This could be fun.

Scary Robot Man tried to kill the hunting man, guess it must be later. Scary Robot Man broke, so it’s okay.

Guards are coming. I don’t want to fight. Hunting man tried to shoot me. He’s not very good at it so I took his gun so he can’t hurt anyone.

Drinking buddy thinks his gun is cool. I have enough guns, he can have it.

Everyone is fighting and yelling. I think they want hunting man’s money. Money stuff is boring. So is Lawyer stuff. I want to go hunting. Hunting man agrees. He’s smart.

We’re going back to the ship! Pastey has found a sweet planet for us to hunt on. I give the ladies some of Captain’s money. They keep following me now.

Flyman and Captain are calling more Lawyers. Lawyers are boring. I’m going to sleep. Ladies still following me, getting a little weird.

We’re going hunting and getting our new spaceship fixed! Awesome! Current spaceship doesn’t shoot very well.



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